Note: Due to the strain of writing such reviews as this one below, effective with Rise of the Planet of the Apes and beyond, I will reduce the spoiler-free review to the Flixster/iTunes stars and a new numerical score-letter grade pairing, with a list of the questions, my scale of zero to ten for each one, and a yes (seven or higher) or no (six or lower). This is to make it easier for me to crank these out and make me detail my Movie Chat scripts better. I decided tonight (about a whole day after writing this review below), so enjoy my last written review before I switch to the simpler, formulaic posts.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 6/23/17, 4.5 Stars, 92%, A-.
A musical for the ages, which holds up especially well in the age of anything goes. We open with a bright red-lipped mouth singing a song about science fiction. We’re then introduced to our leads who are attending a wedding: Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) and Janet Weiss (Susan Sarandon) meet and it’s love at first sight. After singing their love to the world, the criminologist (Charles Gray) shows up to offer his take on the situation that leads to their disappearance. When Brad and Janet get stranded in the middle of nowhere, they seek help from the residents of the Frankenstein place, and what follows is the impurification of the engaged couple and utter insanity set to the most high-voltage soundtrack ever, so much so I felt burned out after the first few songs, my only major complaint about this movie as a whole. Throughout, they’re introduced to Riff Raff (Richard O’Brian), Magenta (Patricia Quinn) and the show stealing scientist Frank N. Furter (Tim Curry), who seeks to make Rocky Horror (Peter Hinwood) a man in just seven days. From the opening song to the closing one, the story makes sense with the only confusion coming from if you’re a little burned out after the first few songs like I was, especially if you just feel the need to sing (and maybe dance) along. The main characters of Brad and Janet were relatable as the eyes and ears of the audience who likely haven’t been exposed to this type of content before unless they’ve seen this movie before. They’re fairly well developed, but we could have had more. Anyway, with a few cheesy effects that not only don’t detract from, but add to the story, the picture is brilliant, and whether or not everything feels like it belongs there is irrelevant, because it’s just so energetic and weird. The music is just so energetic and weird too, with hits like “Science Fiction/Double Feature,” “Dammit Janet,” “The Time Warp,” and “Sweet Transvestite,” among others, which I felt was amazing and fun. Overall, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the unwholesome, family unfriendly entertainment you’ve been seeking. So you can wa-wa-wa-wa-watch it, so you can get dirirty! And afterward, you’ll wanna go back and do the watch through again! There’s a light shining wherever you can get this movie! Follow it, get it, and watch it!
-Is it well paced? 6, No.
-Did it make sense? 9, Yes.
-Were the main ones relatable? 10, Yes.
-Were the main ones well developed? 8, Yes.
-Was it clear? 10, Yes.
-Is everything there for a reason? 9, Yes.
-Did it convey the appropriate emotion(s)? 10, Yes.
-Was it used appropriately? 10, Yes.
-Was the humor appropriate, and did it work well? 10, Yes.
-Were there few, if any unnecessary/uncalled-for profanities? 10, Yes.